As we continue discussing boundaries...

... and as we focus more on our own out of control behavior, we must do an honest evaluation of where we are. 1 Thessalonians 2:10-12 (NKJV) “You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe; as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory. So, Pastor Rick, how can we walk worthy or to set limits on our out of control behavior? 

1. Identify the symptoms of your out of control behavior. You will need to take an honest look at the fruit you may be exhibiting by not being able to say no to yourself. You may be experiencing depression, anxiety, panic, phobias, rage, isolations, etc.

2. Identify the roots of your out of control behavior. This is key: Identifying the causes of your self-boundary problems will assist you in understanding your own contribution to your problem. It will also help you identify your developmental injuries (how others have sinned against you).  

3. Identify the boundary conflict. This is where we have to be totally honest with ourselves about our particular self-boundary problems and identify what ours is.

4. Take responsibility and take ownership for the out of control behavior. 1 John 1:9 (NKJV) “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

5. Identify what you need. It is pretty much useless to try to deal with your boundary issues with yourself until you’re actively developing safe, trusting, grace-and-truth relationships with others especially in the context of church. You need a deep relationship with the Lord and people who will keep you accountable. 

6. Now I begin. Once you have identified your self-boundary problem and owned it, you now can do something about it. So how do we begin to set boundaries on ourselves? Address your real need. Allow yourself to fail. Listen to emphatic feedback from others. Surround yourself with people who are loving and supportive. John 8:32 (NKJV) “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."