Today we are continuing the series about Boundaries.

Cloud and Townsend, “Remember the old saying, “Insanity is genetic. You inherit it from your kids”? Well, boundaries aren’t inherited. They are built. To be the truth-telling, responsible, free, and loving people God wants us to be we need to learn limits from childhood on. Boundary development is an ongoing process, yet its most crucial stages are in our very early years, where our character is formed.” The role of a parent or grandparent is to build healthy boundaries for children. At the same time, it is a child’s job to push against those boundaries in a safe way. 

1. Bonding and Boundaries. Building good boundaries begins when we are babies. This is called Bonding. A close, safe, nurturing bond between a parent and a child is essential for development into a healthy, whole adult. Bonding is the bedrock on which we build boundaries. When babies come into the world their first need is to know they are loved, protected and nurtured. A person will feel insecure later in life if they do not feel secure at the beginning of life. Unfortunately, not all parents develop a loving bond with their babies and children. 

2. Separation and Boundaries. After Bonding, the next step is Separating. During the first four months of life, mother and baby are one in the eyes of the baby. There is no distinction. During the second half of year one, the baby starts to separate and develop an identity. All that nurturing pays off. The little one feels secure enough to do some exploring. They want to take the world in through their senses…especially their mouths. The separation phase is the time to begin building boundaries. As a child develops an identity over the next months and years he or she learns to use two powerful words: “No” and “Why?” You want them to say “No” when someone tries to do something wrong with them or to them. As painful as it is at times, all those years of testing the limits helps a parent and child set and keep clear boundaries. 

3. Isaac and Rebekah – Boundaries Crossed. Boundaries were crossed when Rebekah came with a plan to deceive Isaac obtaining the blessing for Jacob instead of Esau. Boundaries were crossed when Jacob would not say “no” to his deceiving mother. The point here is this…when boundaries are crossed and deception rules the day, people get hurt and upset. God’s Word will keep us within biblical boundaries for everyone’s safety.